I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
-- Dave Barry AA

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.
-- W. C. Fields AA

Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde AA

You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in.
-- Arlo Guthrie AA