I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell-you see, I have friends in both places.
-- Mark Twain AA

I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
-- Ellen DeGeneres AA

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
-- Douglas Adams AA

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
-- Dan Rather AA