With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go', green means 'whoa, slow down', and red means 'where the heck did you get that banana?'
-- Mitch Hedberg AA

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say
-- William S. Burroughs AA

To do just the opposite is also a form of imitation.
-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg AA

A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not.
-- Henry Fielding AA