I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
-- George Burns AA

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
-- George Carlin AA

Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised.
-- Marilyn Manson AA

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.
-- Robert Orben AA