It's actually easy to tell if your house is haunted: It isn't. Grow up.
-- Jimmy Carr AA

Reality continues to ruin my life.
-- Bill Watterson AA

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
-- Fran Lebowitz AA

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.
-- Wilson Mizner AA

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